All right, time for a ’70s flashback!!!
That’s right boys and girls, that skinny guy on the left is Robin Williams. Long before you knew him as Teddy Roosevelt in Night at the Museum or the voice of Genie in Aladdin, and even before he was a legitimate Oscar-worthy actor in movies like Good Morning, Vietnam, The Fisher King and Good Will Hunting (for which he actually won an Academy Award), he was a bonafide cocaine-fueled TV star!
Ohh “Mork & Mindy,” how I almost tragically blocked you from my memories. (My brain is a lot like Homer Simpson’s in that every time I push a new piece of info in—say like knowing who Carly Rae Jepsen is—something old gets pushed out.) (And now that song’s in your head, too—you’re welcome!) Thanks to The Hub, I stumbled upon this little piece of my adolescence the other night, and faster than you could say “Exidor” (yeah, that guy!) the flashback flood nearly overwhelmed me.
“Mork calling Orson … Mork calling Orson …”
Or in this case, it’s really more like “Dork calling Orson …”
Anyway, as much as a fan I was of the show, let me first say that I did *NOT* own a pair of rainbow suspenders. Not then, not now, not ever. I did, however, have a light blue shirt that said, “Nanu nanu!” in giant letters, which sort of upset me because I thought it should’ve been spelled “Nanoo nanoo!” Despite that, I proudly wore that shirt on a regular basis like any impressionable young 70s teenybopper would.
I also should admit right up front that I absolutely had a crush on “Mindy,” a.k.a. Pam Dawber. Of course, as I was writing this, I Googled her to see what she was doing now, and not only was I surprised to find out that she’s 60 (!) and still looks terrific, but she’s also been married to Mark Harmon since 1987!
Mark Harmon? Good lookin’ dude, a hit show and a 25-year marriage in Hollywood to a woman who still looks like this—
Clearly, a blood deal has been inked with Ol’ Scratch. Bastige.
Another thing I noticed while watching was Mindy’s dramatic lack of a rack, which is something that jumps out at me (so to speak) when watching other shows of the same era. Sure, everyone was thinner, but the majority of actresses on TV back then had normal-sized breasts. Actually, compared to today’s ridiculously boob-tastic TV bimbos, they all look flat now, even Farrah. (Yes, I had The Poster on my bedroom wall—I am an American, after all.) Speaking of ….
On the flip side (or should I say “nip” side?), even though they weren’t as busty as today, actresses—including my sweet Mindy—seemed to be dramatically averse to brassieres. Seriously, the ’70s were the decade of the unbridled jiggle! I still have the mental image of “Wonder Woman” Lynda Carter adjusting her swimsuit on “Battle of the Network Stars” burned deep into my memory. (And I don’t know what’s sadder: That I still remember it or that someone else uploaded that clip to YouTube.) Actually, I’m pretty sure the entire concept of “BOTNS” was an excuse just to get young bouncy starlets into ridiculously thin bathing suits to get males to change the channel and rip out the dial! (It worked.)
But yeah, put on pretty much any 70s show, and it was “headlights” galore, from “One Day at a Time” to “Three’s Company” to “The Love Boat.” I’m pretty sure Flo from “Alice,” both Laverne and Shirley, and Shirley Hemphill from “What’s Happening” were the only ’70s actress who were secured above the waist, which was probably a good idea for all involved…
Just like a cold shower. Hey hey hey!
While watching, I was pleasantly surprised that aside from Mork’s suspenders and Mindy’s minis, the show actually holds up pretty decently, unlike some other shows, such as the aforementioned “Three’s Company.” Can you imagine today trying to build a show around the “taboo” premise of a single guy sharing a two-bedroom apartment with two single women? Or the whole horrifyingly offensive gay-bashing that was at the center of each episode? Mr. Roper would be intrawebz-whipped out of existence in about -.023 seconds …
It’s funny how when you watch something with fresh eyes decades later, it’s not quite as endearing or amusing. When “Welcome Back, Kotter” came on TV Land, I was excited to see it again as I was a big fan back in the day. But as I started actually watching it, I couldn’t believe how unfunny it was. I mean like not funny diarrhea club unfunny. Wow. Bad plots, bad ‘acting,’ bad pacing, bad jokes, bad directing, bad everything—except Marcia Strassman (also a member of the 70s normal-breast, anti-bra club society). It makes sense now why Travolta wanted out after one season … you know, which has worked out well for him. I think … well, until recently …
Okay, like Mork telling Orson what he learned at the end of each episode, here’s what I learned today:
– A flying egg is a horrible choice for an intergalactic craft.
– Robin Williams has always danced the line between amusing and insufferable.
– There was a time when an actress could not wear a bra on TV and it wouldn’t be the subject of every gossip show and site.
– There was a time when an actress could have her own breasts and succeed with them.
– Apparently, there wasn’t a time when I wasn’t obsessed with breasts.
– I have issues.
– I miss some parts of the ’70s—you can keep the bad hair, polyester fashion and Flo’s grits, thank you very much!