So to help promote my upcoming book, Speaking Ill of the Dead: Jerks in Connecticut History, which is scheduled to hit bookshelves on Sept. 18, but [*shameless plug alert*] is available for pre-order from Amazon.com, I thought I’d try out a new feature here.
As you may have guessed, it’s called:
JERK OF THE WEEK!
(Like the colors? Took me extra to do that, but anything for you, dear blogeroos.)
I’m reasonably sure you can figure out the concept by the title, so let’s just get to it, shall we?
So the inaugural JERK OF THE WEEK, for Aug. 1, 2012 is …
Jerry Sandusky!
Okay, now I know you’re saying, “Uh, gee … going out on a limb there, ain’t ya’? This guy could be JERK OF THE CENTURY” But the reason—aside from the horrifyingly obvious—why I’m picking Mr. Ped State this week is for his comments from earlier today.
Apparently, according to his attorney Joe Amendola, in regard to the NCAA’s punishment of the Nittany Lions for his scandal, Jerry Sandusky said, “To do what they’re doing to Penn State is so unjust.” Amendola added that Sandusky “loves the program and he loves the university.”
Yeahhhh … that’s Uncle Jerry, just full of love for everyone, which is pretty much how he got in trouble in the first place.
That aside—is Sandusky fracking kidding or what?! He’s upset about the sanctions—a bunch of wins vacated, loss of scholarships and post-season eligibility and a $60 million fine, among other actions—against an athletic program and a university that turned a blind eye to his abhorrent crimes for better than a decade?! He’s taking issue with the disciplinary actions against the school that looked the other way while he casually went about RAPING YOUNG BOYS?!!!! Are you serious?!
Look, I’m no legal expert or PR guru, but I’m pretty sure after you’re convicted of such heinous acts in a court case where your own adopted son was ready to take the stand against you because you raped him too, you NEED TO SHUT THE FRACK UP … FOREVER!!! Seriously, no one anywhere gives a rodent’s posterior what you think about ANYTHING, let alone what happens to a lousy football program and an administration that ignored the fact that you were [*insert your own crass metaphors for the rape of young boys here*]! Just shut your rape hole, crawl under a rape rock and go the rape away!
But then, you gotta love this nugget (from the linked ESPN article):
“He continues to believe that the truth will come out at some point, and that he’ll get another trial or another opportunity to establish his innocence,” Amendola said.
Really?! Really and truly?! That’s a special kind of jerkery, that right there is.
Congratulations Jerry Sandusky. In case anyone, anywhere doubted it—which I’m pretty sure they didn’t—you, sir, are the Jerk of The Week! I only hope your new roommates deliver your “award” in a way that you might appreciate. Repeatedly.