Okay, let’s get some of the greatest movie theme music ever going here …
That’s right—this weekend the latest James Bond 007 film Skyfall opens, and the reviews seem to indicate that the film does not suck.
For the record, I enjoyed the way they rebooted the franchise with Daniel Craig in 2006’s Casino Royale—I didn’t mind a grittier, more dangerous Bond. Sure, it was a bit of knockoff of the Jason Bourne movies, but still, I thought it was enjoyable and a little less silly than where the franchise had been mired for the better part of the last four decades.
Now don’t get me wrong—I certainly enjoyed the tongue-in-cheek Roger Moore version of 007, but that was probably because he was the Bond I was raised on. The first drive-in movie that my parents ever took me to was Live and Let Die, which was Moore’s first turn as the suave superspy, and like any impressionable young boy, I immediately was hooked by the mix of action, violence and intrigue. Oh, and sex.
Hello, Solitaire!
Hmm … she reminds me of this medicine woman I knew once …
Anyway, as you might expect, James Bond shook and stirred my appreciate for spy movies and TV shows, and I’ve certainly watched a number over the years. And while doing, I’ve been able to compile
Five of My Favorite Fictional Spies (Other Than Bond, James Bond)
1. Agent 86, Maxwell Smart
You don’t know for how many years I wished I had a shoe phone! Don Adams was pitch-perfect as the bumbling CONTROL agent—even now, decades later, I’ve found myself saying, “Would you believe?” or “Missed it by *that* much.”
I saw a lot of this show growing up in the 1970s as it was constantly in reruns during the day, and it’s comedy was broad enough that I was able to laugh at most of the jokes. And yes, I had a crush on Agent 99. Who didn’t?
It also has one of the most memorable opening sequences of any TV show—I used to always wonder how he got out at the end considering he dropped out of sight.
2. Jack Bristow, aka “Spy Daddy”
Victor Garber was nominated for an Emmy three times for his portrayal of the father of Sydney Bristow on “Alias,” and if you watched the show once, you’d understand why as Jack was the baddest of the bad asses on the show, which was a great mix of drama, action and occasional humor. And yes, I had a crush on Jennifer Garner. Who didn’t?
I still can’t see a spork and not think of the time he had to instruct Marshall how to use one to remove someone’s eyeball.
I will also never forget HOW ANGRY I STILL AM SIX YEARS LATER after the series finale when—sorry, it’s not a spoiler six years later—he sacrificed himself to save everyone. I—like everyone else in the room—was literally sick to my stomach after the show was over. Grrr …
3. Austin Powers
Yeah, baby! Who doesn’t love Mike Myers over-the-top parody of all those great and cheesy 60s spy films. Sassy, sexy and silly. I was just watching Goldmember the other night with the kids, and I had forgotten how laugh-out-loud funny it is. And yes, I had a crush on Beyoncé. Who doesn’t?
Although to be honest, I think I identify more with Dr. Evil more than Austin—and I definitely want a tank of sharks with frickin’ lasers on their heads.
4. Chuck
For the first few years of its run, this was one of my all-time favorite shows because, again, it had the perfect mix of fun and guns, and a lot of nerd references mixed in, which, you know, I can appreciate since—and let’s be honest here—I sort of trend toward nerd. No, no, it’s true.
And yes, I had a crush on Yvonne Strahovski. Who doesn’t?
The show also had a great ensemble who were equally fun to watch, including Adam Baldwin as Casey and the immortal Jeffster. Oh, and have I mentioned I had a crush on Yvonne Strahovski?
Again, who doesn’t?
5. Agent P
A platypus? They don’t do much … unless of course they are s a semi aquatic egg-laying mammal of action! I know it’s easier with animation to be more expressive with a character who doesn’t speak, but Perry the Platypus is one of the more original an fun characters on kids’ television, and a show totally targeted for adults. He’s the ultimate good guy, resourceful, loyal, has lots of fun gadgets—what’s not to love? And yes, I have a crush on Carl. Who doesn’t?
Although I do admit, much like Austin Powers, I enjoy the work of Agent P’s nemesis, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz more than our hero. Hmm …
Maybe it’s time for a list of my favorite bad guys? Oh wait, I’ve already sort of done that!