the friday five: might as well jump

Before I forget—and with my advanced age, that happens quite a bit more than it used to—I just want to take a quick moment to give a big thank you to everyone who has stopped by this site (as well as Damned Connecticut). Obviously, I put this stuff out there to be read, and that so many of you have taken the time to support me (repeatedly) in the past year, is truly appreciated.

By the same token, thanks again to everyone who has actually bought Speaking Ill of the Dead: Jerks in Connecticut History—I can’t believe how many of you out there have insisted on laying out your own hard-earned money to purchase my book (even as a gift). I truly hope you all have enjoyed reading it as much as I had researching and writing it. I worked hard to make it an entertaining book rather than the typical dry historical read, and really want people to have fun reading it.

Thanks again! Now on to “regular” business …

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So as the mess that was 2012 comes to an end—and really, we’re all pretty happy to kick this year to the curb, aren’t we?—one of the biggest questions is whether President Moe-bama and his fellow Stooges in Congress will be able to make a deal to avoid taking the nation over the “fiscal cliff,” i.e., the automatically triggered tax increases and budget cuts designed to “fix” the national debt and other budgetary ills.

Well, unlike those running around gnashing their teeth while our elected dolts play political games, I say when it comes to the Fiscal Cliff, we go Thelma & Louise on that bitch!!!

[Uh “spoilers,” you know, if there can be spoilers on movie that came out over two decades ago]

That’s right, let’s keep going!! Seriously, this economy has become so screwed up anyway, with its bank issues, rampant unemployment, housing messes, wide divide between the ultra rich and the rest of us, spiraling debt, the continued abuse of the middle class and the whole negatively politicized atmosphere, I say we hit the accelerator!!! Don’t look back and let’s just TRASH THIS MUTHA …

Plus, there’s nothing like the giddy adrenaline rush of that initial free fall that we’d all experience over the next few weeks! Then, once the economy is a smoking, twisted wreck at the bottom of the cliff, we’d know there was only one way to go, and that’s UP!

Oh, sure the next few months might suck horribly and things would get harder, but life as we know isn’t going to come to a screaming end. We’d eventually shake off the shock, work our way back up, and maybe rather than waste our efforts trying to patch a system that seems to be in a state of perpetual impending failure, we would build something strong and stable and new. Just a thought.

But really, my axe to grind here is that I’m sick to death of hearing about “the fiscal cliff” every time the news comes on—it’s almost as if I can hear the blood stirring in the loins of newscasters as they say “fiscal cliff” over and over again.

*shiver*

You know, like how there were terror alerts in the headlines every other day in the wake of 9/11—keep the sheeple nervous and they’ll keep tuning in, keep the ratings high, keep our advertisers happy and keep the money flowing in to us! Never mind that there were only a handful of actual threats. Just keep shouting “Wolf!”

Anyway, that all aside, I think “the fiscal cliff” isn’t the only term we should be focused on shattering and putting behind us.

Here are

Five Other Social Clichés We Need to Destroy

1. The Glass Ceiling – I’m not arguing against the validity of the term—how can I when it’s been repeatedly proven to exist—I’m just saying that I wish we’d make like the Wonkavator and just blast through it (and everything it stands for), sending it all into a billion pieces.

Unfortunately, when I hear “glass ceiling” I just think about some of the offices I’ve worked in, and some people with whom I’ve worked. Let’s just say I wouldn’t want to be in the cubicle directly below them—with a glass ceiling—and look up and accidentally see something that might take me years and lots of therapy to un-see.

But yeah, I want it to go away in concept and practice.

2. The Big Picture – You always here about The Big Picture, but does anyone really know what it’s of? I mean, is it like one of the Hubble telescope images or a beach at sunset or a giant velvet portrait of dogs playing poker? Maybe something by Bob Ross, with a little Unabomber shack back in the deep woods by a stream where a coupla friendly critters live (it’s your world), all in a nice handmade macaroni frame.

Personally, as a photography fan, the only Big Picture I really enjoy is from Boston.com. Other than that, I can barely focus on my own Little Picture, let along anyone’s idea of a Big Picture.

Talking about The Big Picture to me also just sounds like an excuse to ignore details or crush people’s lives—you know, like when you hear some CEO talk about laying off 1,000 Americans for 1,000 kids in some Third-World sweatshop who they pay pennies a day so that their already massively profitable company can stay competitive “in The Big Picture.”

3. The One Percent – Just the latest catchy way for the Common Man to say, “I hate the rich … you know, until I become rich myself.” Yawn. Tell me something that the majority of humanity hasn’t agreed on for the better part of the last few millennium.

4. Thinking Outside the Box – I would argue that as soon as someone utters this term, it’s an instant indicator that no actual “outside the box” thinking has occurred. It’s like how people overuse the word “eclectic” to describe those cookie-cutter T.G.I.McScratchy’s that all look exactly alike. I come back to Dash in The Incredibles—when his mother Elasti-Girl tells him that “Everyone’s special,” he responds, “Which is another way of saying that no one is.” Ditto “thinking outside the box.”

Many use the term to signal some sort of alleged commercial innovation—Steve Jobs is often credited with “thinking outside the box” when it came to creating computers, but he was still putting a bunch of electronics in a box, just in a different way. “Outside of the box” innovation would be something like creating an edible computer out of spaghetti that also was a chainsaw and pogo stick—I bet no one is working on that!

The truth is that when someone actually thinks “outside the box,” they are often relegated to the fringes of society as some sort of nutcase. Those who “think outside the box” and manage to gravitate to the center of society, usually don’t bring good with them, either—Hitler, in particular, could be noted for his “outside the box” thinking when it came to his ideas on nation building.

Really, it’s not the compliment it’s supposed to be.

5. Social Media – Has anyone who uses this term ever seen some of the less-than-sociable exchanges that go on using these tools? People seem really eager to use Twitter, Facebook and blogs to verbally rip apart and taunt others in a public, yet somewhat anonymous way.

Social media has become a bully pulpit for many—I suppose myself included. It also has provided a great way for people to let their whiny voices be heard. [Again, just read back through this entire post!] Sure, we exchange some nice things, but the majority of my Facebook feed is filled with people trying to not-so-subtly push their religion, politics or other causes on me, all things they most likely wouldn’t do if we were in a room face to face. Nothing social about that, either.

Don’t get me wrong—I enjoy those electronic platforms. As we all know, however, there’s a big difference between Twitter and Facebook and blogging, and they way that each of those can be used to reach others. To put them under one broad banner seems like a bit of a lazy misnomer.