This post is a request from my son, who simply said to me: “Hey Dad, you know what would be good? If you did a list of your favorite bad guys.”
Done! You know, because I’m a good dad like that …
It also helps that I really didn’t have anything else particular in mind for this week.
And before I start, I should say that before the ill-fated prequels, Darth Vader would’ve been on this list without question. But after telling the improbable and inane back story of the whiny, petty and childish Jedi wannabe Anakin Skywalker, it completely ruined the character in every way, shape and form. Hard to think Vader is all-powerful and evil when he built C-3PO (and somehow forgot about it) and was best buds with Jar Jar Binks.
To paraphrase: “NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”
Anyway, here are
Five of my Favorite Fictional Villains
1. C. Montgomery Burns, “The Simpsons” – I could talk all day about all the unconscionable qualities and nefarious schemes that makes Springfield’s resident billionaire industrialist a wickedly delightful character, but I think a single word (and the way he says it, while twittering his fingers) sums up his malevolence best: “Exxxcellent …”
Now release the hounds!
2. Dr. Evil, “Austin Powers” movies – I’d argue that Dr. Evil is by far the best part of the entire Austin Powers franchise. He has the best lines, worst puns and is by far the most amusing character—I find myself bored when he’s not on screen.
I also can’t help myself from falling into his voice whenever I mention … one … milllllllion … dollars.
Besides, without Dr. Evil, I wouldn’t know that if I ever built an evil lair, it would need to have sharks with frickin’ laser beams on their heads.
3. Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, “Phineas & Ferb” – If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know that I’m a big fan of the perpetually helpless Dr. Doof, who in every episode tries to take over the entire Tri-State Area—often with the help of one of his infamous (and often flawed) -inators—only to be foiled by Agent P.
I also love that on the show, every time they mention “the evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz,” they always run a perfectly evil photo like this—
Curse you Perry the Platypus!!!
4. Dr. Doom, Marvel Comics – I’m seeing a them within a theme here!
Of all the fictional evil doctors, it’s hard to argue that the nemesis of the Fantastic Four has the best name and the best outfit.
Doctor Victor von Doom, at your service (not really)
I don’t even care he seems to have a lame back story and really isn’t amusing or entertaining in any particular way. The Lord of Latveria just looks like a badass! Although, with those metal gauntlets, I’m glad he’s not my gastroenterologist.
5. Silas Barnaby, March of the Wooden Soldiers – Every Thanksgiving, we watch this movie, and every Thanksgiving, I am greatly entertained by Laurel and Hardy as well as the wretched, pig-napping, bogeyman-loving villain in the movie, Silas Barnaby.
Fun bad guy fact: When actor Henry Brandon played Barnaby in 1934, he was only 22 years old! (Great makeup, right?) He was also 6 foot, 5 inches tall, so if you watch the film, you notice he’s bent over in almost every scene so he wouldn’t tower over the other actors.
To this day, in the scene in Bogeyland when he’s summoning up his evil minions, I’m still haunted by the odd bonging/thumping noise his club made when he bangs it on the stalagmites. *chills*
Considering his outfit, I’ve always assumed he was some sort of dandy Amish pilgrim, but then again, it may have been this identity crisis that put him in such a constant foul mood. Whatever his motivation, he does a good job of being bad!