So I have to admit, even though I’m an avowed atheist, I’m sort of curious about the new pope, the former cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Argentina. Unlike many of the prior popes, this guy seems to be cut from a little different cloth.
Now, I’m not going to suddenly be believing or anything (sorry Grandma!), but I am interested in this.
Thus, here are
Five Thoughts About The New Pope
1. His name – Apparently I was wrong about him choosing the name Francis in honor of Joe Francis, the founder of “Girls Gone Wild,” as I originally Tweeted/Facebooked earlier this week. I thought that maybe the church was headed in a radical new direction. Not so much.
Of course, when I hear the name Francis, I think of this:
Evidently, the Pope chose the name it in honor of St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of creatures large and small. Believe it or not, back when I was a youth and subjected to the Catholic church, I also chose to honor St. Francis by choosing his name for confirmation, which I thought made sense as he was a friend to animals and I really love barbecue.
So with the pope, it’s almost like we’re twins! You know, aside from the differences in age, religion, nationality, looks, intelligence, piety, accomplishments and general competence.
2. His age – He’s 76 years young! Seriously though, I don’t mean to disparage, but hiring a guy who is well past the age of retirement in every country to run one of the biggest organizations in the world (if not the biggest—1 out of 6 people are part of it!) may not be the best long-term strategy. Considering that said organization arguably needs a bit of 21st-century reform (actually catching up to some 20th-century reform would be a good place to start) and has some major challenges facing it, you might think a younger, more dynamic choice may have been the way to go. Just sayin’.
Not to be ageist, but by comparison, Pope John Paul II, who really made a major impact on the church and the globe, was 58 when he took the chair of St. Peter—almost 20 years younger than the current pontiff. I mean, this may work out, but would it also wouldn’t be a surprise if the cardinals are gathering again sooner rather than later.
3. His humble roots – Pope Francis is a Jesuit, which if you’re not familiar with all the branches of godliness, is kind of what you expect from a priest as opposed to the obscene wealth and opulence that you see on display in Vatican. In other words, he takes his vow of poverty seriously.
When he claimed the gig as the archbishop of Buenos Aires, he eschewed most of the exorbitant trappings that came with the title—rather than lounge about the archbishop’s palace and cruise about in a limo, he lived in a small apartment and regularly rode the bus. He focused on the needs of the poor, cooked his own meals and even flew economy class when traveling.
In other words, don’t be surprised to see the Popemobile turn up on the next episode of “Pawn Stars.”
Rick: So what do you have for me today?
The Pope: I got my car that I’d like to sell.
Rick: Okay, what are you looking to get for it?
The Pope: It’s valued at $500,000, but I’d be happy with half of that. You know, all the money will go to helping the poor.
Rick: Hmm … let me see … I see it has a few dings in the glass … and it’s not brand-new. Did John Paul II ride in it?
The Pope: Uh … no. This was before the holy father.
Rick: Too bad. JP2 collectibles are still really hot right now. And if he never got shot in this thing, well, that lowers the value even more. This is just a plain old Popemobile. Let’s see … I’m going to have a hard time moving this, and then I got to clean it up a bit and try to make a profit on it … tell you what—I’ll give you $1,500 for it.
The Pope: What?! Brand new it’s worth well over $100,000.
Rick: But this isn’t brand new. I’ll go $2,000, and not a penny more.
The Pope: The money will go to the poor, my son. How about $50,000?
Rick: Look, I’m trying to stay out of the poor house myself, padre. $2,300, and that’s my final offer.
The Pope: Hmm … we do need the money … that’s cash, right? Okay, I’ll take it.
Rick: Great! Write ’em up, Chumlee …
Or something like that.
4. His agenda – Okay, this is a spot I have a little problem, as when it comes to social issues, this guy appears to be a little right of the previous pope, who you may recall was actually a member of the Hitler Youth.
Seriously though, he’s against gay marriage and gay adoption and the free distribution of contraceptives, which really, is not much of a surprise given how Catholic most priests are. The early whispers are that he is a man of the people and could turn out to be a reformer, but until we see him in action, I’ll hold judgement on this.
5. His sense of humor – Compared to the last guy, who I’m pretty sure didn’t even crack a smile in his 7 years on the job, Pope Francis is already crackin’ up the boys.
From the London Evening Standard:
It followed a celebration dinner in the Vatican last night with the 114 cardinals who elected him the 266th Pope. He jokingly told them: “I hope you don’t regret this.”
US cardinal Timothy Dolan said Francis toasted colleagues and said: “‘May God forgive you’, which brought the house down.”
As I’ve always said, anybody with a genuine sense of humor—and humility—is usually okay. As with most things, time will tell. Let’s see if he’s still yucking it up in a few years from now.