game time

So this past weekend, we attended PAX East in Boston—and if you have no idea what this (like I did up to a few weeks ago), it’s the largest gaming event on the East Coast. It’s a huge expo for everything video- and board-game related, and features hundreds of gaming companies sharing and marketing games. Not surprisingly, it draws thousands of gamers, like cash-laden moths to flames.

If you can’t guess, it wasn’t my idea to attend—my two sons (aged 13 & 11) are heavily into video games. (Shocker, right?) So with Boston only about a two-hour drive, this is an excursion that’s not too much of a burden and will make them pretty happy. Why the heck not, right?

Now, I’ve been New York Comic Con a number of times, which is different in that it’s dedicated to comic books and skews more toward sci-fi and fantasy, so I think going in that I know what to expect. But after a short time, I realize that even though there’s thousands of passionate fans crushing together in a large convention hall, it’s not quite the same.

In fact, here are

The Top 10 Things I Learned About PAX (the gaming convention, not the Jeebus TV channel)

1. Nerds!!!!

Yeah, another shocker. Even if it’s not about comic books, it still brings the future rulers of the world out of their mothers’ basements and dens of geekery. And really, who am I fooling? I may not play video games, but I am certainly a nerd, as are my sons, so these are *our* people. It feels good to be among them.

2. LOTS of nerds!!!

Seriously, we get a late jump on Sunday morning and get there about 15 minutes after the doors officially open and not only are the convention center lots all full, but the roads are absolutely jammed in all directions with gamers trying to find places to park. After a few minutes, I let my wife and kids get out and go in while I tried to follow the slow moving stream of cars to the “overflow” lots, which are almost a mile away. Along the way I see a parking garage—I ask a cop directing traffic if it’s okay to park there. He tells me I can, but then it’s about a “quarter mile” walk to the convention center and there was no shuttle bus. (Okay, being Bahstahn, he says it’s a “qwawtah mile, pal” but I understand what he means.)

Since I run a few miles every other day, this doesn’t seem like a problem, so rather than spend another half hour driving to the lot and then waiting for the shuttle, I drive in. Definitely a decision that would put a smile on George Costanza’s face—lots of spots, not a bad walk (it was sunny and in the 40s), and coming out at the end of the day, it only costs $9 and I get right on I-90 without any hassle. Sweet!

That aside, there are tons of people in the convention center, but unlike the Javits Center in New Yawk—er, York—the Boston Convention Center is a huge, soaring space with lots of room to get around. Even with the huge crowds, it’s a very pleasant experience.

3. Sex sells.

Duh, right? Not quite as overt as some of the stuff I’ve seen at Comic Con, but all the video game heroes enjoy sculpted ‘roid-fueled hardbodies while the heroines enjoy gravity-defying figures of porn-star proportions.

4. Violence takes a holiday? – I don’t know if it’s a response to Sandy Hook or just the way the gaming industry is headed, but there seems to be less of a presence of violent first-person shooter games. Not that they aren’t there—we see a display for Halo 4 tucked away in a corner—just not as prominent as you might expect considering how popular they are. I do see that they had a panel addressing violent games and the effect on children. Just thought it was interesting.

5. Cosplay takes a holiday? – Unlike Comic Con where every other person seems to be dressed as a hero, villain or Harley Quinn, I’d say only 1 in about 20 are in costume. The two best: a girl who dresses up as GLaDOS from Portal, which is cool because you never see GLaDOS in the game, but as soon as my son spots her, all dressed in white and carrying a large piece of cake (it’s a lie!) he knows exactly who it is; and a young girl decked out as Fionna from “Adventure Time” and her faithful dad, who has on a Jake the Dog costume. Cool dad!

6. Gamers are encouraged to get their game on.

Unlike Comic Con, where there are usually only a few video game companies who set up sample games for fans to play, pretty much every booth has an opportunity for fans to try out new games. This is awesome because even though there are thousands in attendance, there aren’t huge lines at every exhibit (unless it’s something uber popular like the new Elder Scrolls game). My sons are able to play multiple games with only minimal waits. Nice!

The convention also has multiple free gaming areas where you cam play tons of different games on various consoles. Very user friendly, I have to say.

7. Bacon-wrapped turkey drumsticks!

I mean, it may simply be the greatest. lunch. EVAR!

8. Gaming tables?!

I don’t know if this picture does it justice, but what you’re essentially looking at is a deluxe $5,000 iPad with legs that a bunch of gamers can sit around and all play at the same time.

Absolutely freakin’ cool! And brilliant.

The salesman there tells me that there are other smaller models that start at $2,500—it doesn’t take too much imagination to figure that these will start coming down in price and eventually there may be one in every house like a pool table or ping-pong table. Just throw a few cup holders on that bad boy, and we’re all set!

9. Don’t leave early to get the car or you might miss Jonathan Coulton – So being the good chauffeur that I am, I decided that rather than make my family walk all the way to the car, I’ll go get it and call from my cell when I’m close. In the 15 minutes I’m trudging out to the parking garage, my wife and sons get to meet the singer-songwriter responsible for such fun and catchy tunes as “re: your brains,” “Code Monkey,” “IKEA” and the theme to Portal. You also might know the name from the recent news when the TV show “Glee” ripped off his version of “Baby Got Back.”

I, on the other hand, get to meet a pee-stained hobo named Butch on my walk. (Well, I’m guessing his name was Butch; we didn’t exchange business cards.)

10. There’s a SUPER ZAXXON!!!

RIGHT? WHAT THE WHAT?!!

Okay, the only arcade game I ever came close to mastering was Zaxxon, so imagine my shock and joy when we are in the free Classic Arcade room and I discover there is a “SUPER” VERSION of the game! It’s as if I somehow missed an important stage of my development, say like all of 1983.

Of course, I run over and start playing. It’s a little different then I expect, and I’m a bit rusty, to say the least. With other gamers waiting to try, I can’t set the high score, but I do a respectable job.

Granted, it may not be my shining moment, but it does make my day! Video games forever!!!!