Okay, in case you missed it, the 2013 season for the Connecticut Roller Girls just opened the other night, with the Yankee Brutals facing off against the New Hampshire Cherry Bombs, while the Stepford Sabotage took on the DC All Stars. There was some awesome action, but the Cherry Bombs blasted the Brutals 135-116, while DC KO’ed the Sabotage 193-161. The next bout is a March 9 doubleheader, where the locals (the Brutals and the Sabotage) will be taking on two teams from the Hudson Valley …

Yes, you’re still in rayality—I know I don’t usually review the local roller derby action, but we’re doing an article about the recent resurgence of the flat track for the April issue of Connecticut Magazine, and it’s on my brain. It’s a terrific piece that I’m proud to say I pushed for and was able to assign to David Holahan, one of our very talented freelancers. Good stuff.

Anyway, one of my favorite aspects of the sport—you know, aside from buff wild women getting sweaty and competitive—are the names they pick out. There is an actual international roller derby master registry for names so that no two skaters have the same moniker. Pretty sure I’d go with Baberaham Rinksin or Ramona Mancrusher.

So to help the local ladies celebrate the new season, here are

Five of My Favorite Connecticut Roller Derby Names

(and yes, these are all real—and no, I don’t know any of these ladies personally, although by their names, they sound like my type of people!)

1. Eleanor Bruisevelt – Truly brilliant on so many levels—the best of the best, in my opinion.

2. Luciana Pulverotti – A classic.

3. Your Mom – Wait, who told you?! I mean, uh, good one …

4. Babe Vigoda – The great ones never die.

5. Anita Chainsaw – Who doesn’t?

Honorable mention—F. Scott Hitzgerald and Amelia Tearheart

Now all I have to do is get out to a bout!