jerk of the week: save money, live like a jerk

Dec 132012
 

Okay, I’ll admit this right up front: I have a big problem with the infamous big box retailer that this week’s jerk runs. To me, they are one of the most economically destructive companies out there, responsible for ruining communities by running small businesses out of business and eliminating jobs, and then making sure anyone who does stay employed is not properly compensated. It also usually sucks revenues away from local small towns and communities all across America and sends it to Arkansas.

That’s right, I’m talking about Walmart, which means this week’s JERK OF THE WEEK is

Walmart CEO Mike Duke

I have been boycotting this company for more than a decade, refusing to step foot in any of its many, many stores. A certain lawyer who worked for the state labor department and that I know fairly well (and many of you may know by extension) has told me dozens of stories about how poorly Walmart treats its employees—from low wages and poor benefits to bad employment policies and outright bullying and harassment.

In my eyes, this company seems to act like a bunch of jerks all the time, but every now and then, they distinguish themselves.

Courtesy of the Huffington Post:

At a recent event, Bloomberg LP President Dan Doctoroff pointed out to the Walmart chief executive that even though his company paints itself as “serving an emerging middle class,” many of its employees aren’t paid enough to lead a normal life and some even resort to food stamps to make ends meet, as previously reported by The Huffington Post. This is what Duke had to say in response:

“Retailing is the most competitive industry out there, and we do pay competitive wages,” Duke told Doctoroff, according to Business Insider, noting that around 175,000 Walmart employees are promoted from entry-level positions each year. “Our associates are a great source of pride and personal inspiration for me,” he added.

Sure they are, Dukey. Sure they are. Keep telling yourself that. From the rest of the article.

According to market research firm Ibis World, the average wage for a Walmart employee is $8.81 per hour, barely over the minimum wage in some states. Walmart executives say average rates are higher, with estimates including $11.75 per hour and $12.40 per hour. In contrast, Duke made $18.7 million in 2010. With a CEO-to-employee pay ratio of 717-to-1, that ranks Duke second among a list of 50 CEOs who are paid significantly more than their employees.

It’s nice that he gets so much pride out of what he “provides” for his workers, especially around the holidays. And clearly, his employees absolutely appreciate all the love that he sends out to them—so much so that they just had to take to the streets to demonstrate it.

But really, why should we care. Anything to get those low, low prices, right? I mean, what’s a horribly deadly factory fire in a third-world country when Season 4 of “Billy the Exterminator” is on sale?!

You get what you pay for—I’ll be shopping somewhere where I hope there are less jerks in charge.

For what it’s worth: Although I’d encourage you to buy my book wherever you can, I’d actually prefer if you didn’t go to Walmart to get it (not that something so low brow would even be there). And although I always link to Amazon, I wouldn’t be upset if you bought it from a local bookstore this holiday season. Thanks!

 

the friday five: master debater

Oct 192012
 

Fact: I have not watched any of the 2012 presidential debates.

And I have no intention of tuning in now.

See, the problem is that I really am not a fan of politics, and I’ve become convinced now more than ever that pretty much every candidate running for office—from the two presidential hopefuls right on down to those aspiring to be your local dog catcher—is more interested in what public office can do for them rather than what they can do for the public while in office. You know, the polar opposite of that gloriously idealistic JFK inauguration speech. Sad how far we’ve fallen in half a century.

Consider: At last check, an estimated $1 billion will be spent on this presidential election, most of it invested by Very Wealthy People (on all sides). These people are usually very rich for a reason, mainly because they tend not to back causes that don’t have a potentially high return for them. In other words, they are investing an colossal amount of money in this election because they know that winning the White House is important for their bottom lines and how much more money they can possibly make. It has nothing—and I repeat, NOTHING—to do with helping the American people. You’ve been hanging out too long in Plato’s cave if you believe otherwise.

As far as the debates themselves go, I’ve also come to the conclusion that both candidates (any candidate, really) will say absolutely anything to be elected, and then will somehow get a pass later if they go back on their campaign promises. Really, it’s a silly dance that’s been going on for decades when you think of it—they tell us what we want to hear to get elected, then when they don’t fulfill those pledges, we sort of say, “Well, that’s okay—it was a campaign promise, so we never really expected you to do it anyway.”

Oh sure, some presidents to try to keep certain promises, but more times than not, they fall by the wayside when the reality of taking office sets in.

As such, I propose

Five Ways to Make the Presidential Debates More (Interesting to Me, Anyway)

1. Allow weapons – I’m not talking about guns or knives or anything that will cause permanent damage, but I’d like if they used fencing foils, pugilsticks or nunchuks, or if they went the pro wrestling route and allowed flaming steel chair or two. Even if it was a normal debate, and then at some point, Obama reached into his jacket pocket for “a foreign object” and used it on Romney (or vice versa), that would be must-see TV!

2. Debate girls – You know, to hold up the score cards between matches. (Hey, it works in Vegas to “class up” boxing matches.) Sex sells, right? And of course, since I’m all about equality, if they want to throw in a few beefcake ring guys for the ladies to enjoy, so be it.

3. Karaoke – This would only work if they had Simon Cowell as a judge. “Mitt, that rendition of ‘My Boo’ was absolutely dreadful. I mean, the absolute worst ever—you wouldn’t hear a version that bad on a cruise ship. Obviously, your parents were wealthy enough to pay off your music teachers to tell you that you could sing. Shame on them,  shame on you and shame on anyone who contributed to your campaign in the hopes of hearing something special. You may have the breeding and money, but you couldn’t carry a tune in a milk bucket, I’m sad to say.”

4. Shocking truth – This one is pretty simple: During the debates, electrodes are attached to each candidate’s genitals. As they statements are made, they are checked by a non-partisan group like factcheck.org. If a candidate tells a lie, they get a angry jolt of electricity delivered right to Mr. Nutsack or Ms. Ladypart. If anything, I suspect this will greatly shorten debates.

5. Dunk tank – Each candidate climbs up on the bar over the tank, and answers the questions. Whoever gets them wrong, gets dunked. It could also be rigged where the audience gets to vote on the answers or the performance, and the candidate who loses goes for a swim. The dunk tank could also be replaced with a vat of ticks or a bengal tiger pit—I certainly wouldn’t to deter the imagination of the American people.

Any chance we can get these in place before the next debate?

jerk of the week: the jerk of versailles

Oct 102012
 

This JERK OF THE WEEK feature is a double-edged sword: It’s great because there’s so many people from which to choose, but it sucks because there are so many people from which to choose.

Being the consummate professional (and a jerk myself), however, I’m not about to stop.

This week’s wiener (shh … must be a typo) is living proof that being able to achieve financial success is no indication as to a person’s true worth. Sometimes the personality traits that are useful in amassing a fortune—like being an intimidating bully at times—aren’t always welcome outside the boardroom …

… Or in the voting booth!

This week’s JERK OF THE WEEK is …

DAVID SIEGEL

Some of you may already know of Siegel, who is the founder owner of Westgate Resorts, one of the largest time-share companies in the world. He—and his lovely wife Jacqueline—have also been in the news recently, mostly for being very rich people with very exorbitant taste.

But hey, liking shiny expensive toys does not make one a jerk. Threatening all your employees by sending them an email telling them if they don’t vote for Mitt Romney that they will all lose their jobs, however, is another story.

A story, best summed up by MSNBC.com, who posted a copy of the email:

“If any new taxes are levied on me, or my company, as our current President plans, I will have no choice but to reduce the size of this company,” he wrote. “Rather than grow this company I will be forced to cut back. This means fewer jobs, less benefits and certainly less opportunity for everyone.”

In a version of Romney’s “47 percent” remarks, Siegel added that “people like me who made all the right decisions and invested in themselves are being forced to bail out all the people who didn’t. The people that overspent their paychecks suddenly feel entitled to the same luxuries that I earned and sacrificed 42 years of my life for.”

The points are ones that have often been made during this election. But what makes the letter surprising is the source.

David Siegel is the man who, together with his wife, Jackie, built the largest new house in America, known as “Versailles.” His story first appeared in my book, “The High-Beta Rich.” It then made it to the big screen with the documentary film “The Queen of Versailles.”

They became symbols of outsized spending, debt and real estate in America.

But when the company started buckling under $1 billion in debt during the crisis, the Siegels’ home went into foreclosure and was put up for sale. They cut back on the jet, took the kids out of private school and gave up some of their staff.

Now, I don’t begrudge the man his rightfully earned millions, and obviously, he should vote for whomever he thinks will best protect his interests—heck, I do the same!

I do take exception, however, when he uses the power of continued employment—and all the basic amenities of life that are derived from that—during tough economic times to bully others. To me, that’s just dirty pool—or in this case, three pools and numerous fountains, as the Siegels’ opulent mansion has.

He can justify it anyway he wants, but all the money in the world won’t change the fact that David Siegel is the JERK OF THE WEEK.

And as always, if you want to throw some money my way, you can do so at Amazon.com with a purchase of my book!